Saturday, July 25, 2009

The heart is for lease

(Fragment 2 of the Tetrology. Read Fragment 1, for this to make any sense)
And a fine rainy evening,

She came knocking at my door.

To liven-up my soul,

Frozen in its core.

"Hey !! Need a place to stay... for a while... is the 'To-Let for My Heart' still on ?? "

(Finally, a tenant for my heart, I was happy)

"Yeah. It is... but.."

"what ??"

"Its ain't a perfect place... Its a wreck. Has a lot of bruises.... tears... cracks."

"Why..??"

"hmmm... when the last tenant was here... Me and my heart kinda made a irrevocable treaty. Consequently, I closed its doors and intentionally lost the key and left the previous tenant locked in there to die. When..."

"When I finally came back... She was disintegrated... putrid... Lifeless "

I broke down. She who was listening, came close by me and soothed me with all her hands in my shoulder.

"I tried to dislodge the remnants of her... Fragments of her were knitted secure to my heart... didn't come off easily... parts of her shredded the walls of my heart... "

She spoke at last...

"Hmmmm... that explains the bruises, tears and cracks... "

"So, as I said... It ain't new... aint perfect either... needs a lot of mending... and I completely understand if you don't want to stay there now..."

"Dude.... see this ??" (she turns back to show off her work pack) "I AM the right person for your heart... I fix things, fuse them up... "

"I can sew up your heart in no time and I'll be the best tenant you never had. So, when can I move in? "

She made me smile. I liked her. Perhaps she is the right person to lodge in my heart for the time being... I replied,

"Anytime... "

She made a chirpy smile and a second later she was populating my lonely heart.

Suddenly, I remembered...

"What's your name then ?? Did I ask it ??"

"No man.. You didn't. Thought You would never ask."

(to be continued... next fragment is a 55 fiction)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My Heart - The Drug Dealer

I caught a glimpse of her smiling. That innocent smile, I couldn't take my eyes off... I tripped over and fell in love. The first and the only time I sensed love within my black heart.

My heart is black... cruel... selfish... It hungered for her presence, coveted all the love that humanity had archived. Yes, It was addicted to love, but didn't want to face the pain of a rejection. It made a simple plea to me " Please don't make me get hurt.... Please don't take away this love... "

A simple request from my heart, a selfish one... raised in fear of getting broken... getting dead. How can I deny such an uncomplicated request ? After all the love it has pumped thro my body ? The love which gave me so much thrill, Love which made me love myself, Love which I desire more after each passing breath. My love, a cut above the rest....

The more I pondered over the thought, the more it became evident to me. Like my heart, I too live off my love. I too, am addicted. I made my choice. I decided never to tell her. I wanted to keep on loving her... Thus never getting hurt.

I answered my heart's plea.... " Yes. I promise. "
My heart pumps up more love... and I don't let it get hurt. Straight forward Give and Take treaty with my heart. I was proud of my decision. I was happy...

As I walked a few steps, still in awe of the simple treaty with my heart, It struck me. What have I done ? I have killed all the great times ahead in my life... I have changed what lies ahead.
I have mutated my love into a narcotic.

The more I walked towards my home, the more it seemed to get farther.
I broke down, I cried.
I don't want love... I just want her...
I turned back and ran to the place. I couldn't find it anywhere... where is my heart, the drug dealer ? It has tricked me in the name of love....
It has stolen my future away from me.

I didn't violate the treaty. I never told her.
I felt empty...
After the ecstasy waned out, my heart joined me in my emptiness. The traitor... But, I extended my warm welcome... I knew he was not broken... he was not hurt... but is just alone. I cuddled my heart and cradled it to sleep.
Then put up the board in the next morning..
"Cabin To Let - My Heart"

And one fine evening... She came, knocking at my doors.
(to be continued)

P.S. - Hmmm... how was it ?? Planning to write this thing for some time... Me the narrator n protagonist, my heart the villain turned good guy, a surprise addition to the cast at the next write... a quirky, unconventional story which only I can fully understand... did anybody else decipher ? keep it to your thoughts...
n BTW, I'm planning to continue this quirky thing as a tetrology or pentology...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The beginning of a beautiful friendship

Hey knuckle heads, twerps and schmucks... Its me who is gonna write today... Arun's Inner Voice.... in short called Ivoice... you may have seen the condensed, edited, sanitized part of me in Arun's writes... He is sleeping now... had to give him 3 anxits...

Lemme tell you all, something about Arun...
Arun looks all calm, silent and composed on the exterior... But, truth be told... He is scared shitless... every minute of every day.... of everything he sees... Lets look at a fine example... shall we ?

Arun meets a girl online... Liz... after 40 mins of light hearted, jovial, perky chat msgs... This happens...

Liz: How can I call u ?

And what does he do ?? He wakes me up...

Arun - WTF ?
Ivoice - What ?
Arun - She's askin for my number man... my mobile number...
Ivoice - So... Whats wrong with that... are u being a sexist suddenly ? Its alright for guy but wrong for girl eh? You suck dude...
Arun - It ain't that man... Its just that... that... I know so little about her... we've just met online n we've chatted for less than an hour...
Ivoice - Awwwww.... You are afraid she is gonna break your little heart... (shouts aloud) Stop being such a girl and type the F@#king number...
Arun - Its not like that man... You know... I'm just really... really... ammm.... nervous , when I have to talk to a girl... n .... I just tell the wrong things man...
Ivoice - Dude... START BEING A MAN... just give her the damn number...

Finally, he does this...

Arun: 99400##### .

This is my mob no. whats urs?


But pls dont call me now...


Cos, you know...


we've known eachother for just an hour... n...


Liz: Dude... dude... Shut up... just shut up...

I asked how can i call u in the sense ...

whether to call u as dude... bro... or buddy... or a nick name.... things like that...

n u thought i was some cheap tramp...

Arun: :( hey, i'm reallllly sorry..... I totally mis-understood that...

Liz: Talk about ''making intentions clear'' at the start of a relationship... ewww

Arun: I'm ... really sorry... :-( ... pls... dont be angry...

Arun: Pls...

Arun: It was an honest mistake... really..

Arun: believe me...

Arun: u thr?

Liz: Its k... i kinda believe you...

Arun: he he... thanks... once again i'm cho chowwy if i had upset you... :) I feel like an idiot..

Liz: hmmm... Dont be... Its K... I believe you... have to...

Arun: Tan q...

Liz: Anyways .... #####37462... This is my number.... :-)

Arun: :-)

n thus that doofus ended up gettin her number... in a chat session lasting 50 mins... with the half witted neurotic mind of his.... Ewwww....

Is there no justice in this world....???

Yours annoyingly,
THE INNER SENSE.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Lightning trip to Courtallam

Yay... yay... yay...
Students strike has started from yesterday, supporting the CRRIs and PGs of Tamilnadu medical colleges.
Bottom line - Holidays for me...

I was just lying there in my bed browsing the web n then pranesh called... n everything happened so quickly... I was at the back of pravin's bike in 10 mins time, making a trip to Courtalam. (For those who don't know.. its just a place with a lotta waterfalls...)

Of course, I lied to my grandpa. No way he'll let me go in a bike to courtallam. But college strike presents you with multiple options. "Thatha, I'm goin to strike... can't come out till night 10'o clock..." . Off we went to courtallam.




The ride to courtallam was just awesome... cool wind blowing from everywhere... n u got to be seated in the back of the bike to enjoy the sight of the mountains... I did. It was just splendid.


Had a rocking evening in courtallam. The waterfalls were crowded, so I bathed in only one... more than one bath a day would have been a touture and record for me... my friends made me sit 'watchman' for the clothes n things in the next 2 waterfalls... Couldn't click many pics... cos there was a slight drizzle... n i luv my iphone too much...


The thing abt courtallam I like are the roadside small shops which sell spicy eatables... ate a lot at every chance I got... mmmmmhhhhhmmmm... tasty as hell... made my friends go ewwwww...

Then by 7'o clock... it started raining a lot... a lot... hell a lot more... more water in rain than in the waterfall... We were drenched waiting for 4 of my friends... when they came back, I felt like killing them... I hate waiting n that too in rain... but they had a good excuse... "Nazar saw a cute gal n got lost da"... Thus they escaped our fury...


Then we ate in a border restaurent n came back...
I decided to cut the classes today... yup my body aches like hell...
Just then Pravin called me n delivered the good news "Dont go to classes da... today also strike..." Like was planning to go to classes....
Anyways..
YAY YAY YAY....

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Mismatched

"Fuck You Asshole" and then the call disconnected.... With the call, their relationship... or whatever that remained between the two...


Where did it all go wrong ?

Was i too much Possessive ? Was I over-controlling ?

I tried to be a good lover. I was a good lover.

I loved every little fragment of her.

Every little glance, every little smile,

every little word out of her lips.

Intense pain now it is, her very lips cursing me.



A year of Love. A year of rift.

Now, minutes into my eternal loneliness,

I think back into our love



Love at first meet.

"How can this be, love so quickly ?" I was dubious

"Love doesn't linger and wait. It seizes without notice" she replied...



She was instinctive... I believed in reasons...

Reason - My heart's mighty foe...

Yet, I fell in love...

How can I, her love deny ?

The alluring angel, staring at my eye.



Thus begun, our journey of love.

Thinking back, now, alone , i get a new perspective on me and my love , she and her love. Our love was mutual, yet not the same. Her's was romantic, head in the clouds passionate and utopian. Mine was down to the earth practical, analytical and always in pursuit for logic.



We were two different people when our love emerged.

We were changed when our love ceased,

Different from our own selves.

In cupid's game of hearts... we were two mis-matched toys.

And we've lost the game even before the game began.



(P.S - Been in a terrible moody state nowadays.... so posting this older post of mine from WL.


College is going fine... its just that everyone has started studying a lot n i'm in no mood for studying. Even the sight of the big fat books make me nauseus. hope I recover from this slump. K. bye for now...)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The mirror in my heart

Already posted in WL 14/06/09


" I'll be missin u... :-( "

" Will be here be4 u know it "

" Don't go.... pls... I'll be alone "

" I've already boarded the train "

" :-( "

" Hugs n kisses... Biyeee... "

" G Nite.... See u in 2 days "


12:30'ish - I dozed off...
8:12 AM - Waking up alone sucks....
8:30 AM - Finally got outta my sheets...


Ever so slowly, I started brushing... listening to one of my playlists. It was then I saw it. That large piece of glass, The life-sized mirror she placed in our hallway. The mirror in which she checks herself, head to foot, before going out everytime.

I MISS SEEING HER....

This mirror has registered and reflected her lavish physique so many times. It has possessed her, as much as i had, as passionately as i had. Light reflected from her frame falling on the surface of the this plane mirror, angle of reflection equalling the angle of incidence, finally portraying her splendid virtual image.

Excerpts from my physics book brushed thro my mind. Light behaves as both waves and particles.
Particles.... Molecules...
Molecules of her....
Molecules which were reflected....
Molecules which were retained... Molecules of her...

I went near the mirror. I think I'm in love with this piece of glass. I touched it ; Cold...
Why am I not blessed with a heart which is cold as this mirror. A heart which forgets everything once the person moves away. A heart which only reflects love and does not reproduce it, to torment me with memories of her being with me... Hmmm... Just then I came to peace... My heart is also a mirror... A rear view mirror...

On a moment of silliness, I stepped to the side and looked behind the mirror. Don't know why I did that. Perhaps to find her hiding behind it, I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the stupidity of my love.

I took my mobile.
" Come back... pls... ASAP... I think i'm losin my sanity "



P.S. - Dunno if this pic prompt is still open... Anyways, felt like penning my crazy thought.


Neo Love




Breakups are painful....
More painful, if you are still in love...
I am still in love...

I wake up alone and isolated...

Revived my mobile from its black screen..
1 unread message from an old friend... Zero missed calls...

Stirred my computer from sleep...
No mails uttering "I luv U" or IMs saying "Missin U"
No updates on her twitter...
Your facebook page says you are still 'In a relationship'...
I smile... Clinging on to the false hope...

I go through the motions in life...
Numb and lifeless...
I'm still denying the evident...
Checking and re-checking the different portals of modern day communiqué...